When prompted by a dating app to name my interests, one of my easiest replies is “I like dive bars, my dog, and murder mysteries.” It is factual, sincere, and concise. Anyone who knows me well would attest that I do in fact care deeply about all three of those things. In fact, my dog is named after a lesser known Agatha Christie detective!
While I cut my teeth on British favorites like Jonathan Creek (a magician who solves crimes), Father Brown (a priest who solves crimes), or Death in Paradise (a bumbling brit solves crimes on a Carribean island!), I watch Hallmark Movies & Mysteries nearly everyday — except for the weeks leading up to Christmas. Post-Thanksgiving, I am floundering for something to put on the TV. But finally, Christmas has passed and my favorite channel has returned to its regular programming. In honor of their return to TV, here is a countdown of my favorite signature mystery movie series on Hallmark.
To note: Hallmark Movies & Mysteries (HMM going forward) found a formula and has stuck by it. 90s tv actress + quirky job + hunky cop = a solved murder. It works, and I will not question them.
Matchmaker Mysteries - Danica McKellar plays Angie Dove, Philadelphia’s most famous matchmaker. After setting people up on her successful TV show, Angie is drawn into various crimes of passion (or are they?). Thankfully the brooding Det. Kyle Cooper helps her from getting in too deep. Danica McKellar is a joy to watch. Although it is objectively ridiculous that a matchmaker would be that famous (like seriously, everyone recognizes her), the silly premise provides a nice contrast to all the… you know, murder.
Crossword Mysteries - Lacey Chabert is NYC’s most successful crossword puzzle writer, Tess Harper. Surprisingly the world of crossword puzzles leads her to be at the scene of numerous murders. Luckily the brooding Det. Logan O’Connor is always there to save Tess when she inevitably finds herself face-to-face with the killer. These movies get bonus points because they exist in a world with such robust news outlets that millennial crossword puzzle writers have an assistant. The only downside to these, is I feel like the age gap between Tess and Logan is a little too big.
Aurora Teagarden Mysteries - Candace Cameron Bure plays Aurora Teagarden: librarian by day, true crime aficinado by evening, and amateur detective by night. Aurora lives in a picturesque mountain town, wears adorable clothes, solves crime, and is a librarian! She’s living my dream life. There’s more than 15 full length Teagarden movies, so there’s lots to choose from. Unfortunately there probably won’t be anymore because Bure decided gay people don’t deserve cozy mysteries and has left Hallmark.
Written in the Stars Mysteries - Tiffani Amber Thiessen plays astronomer turned novelst turned detective Rikki Campbell. So sorry, I fully made that one up. Just checking if you’re still reading.
Flower Shop Mysteries - Brooke Shields is lawyer turned florist Abby Knight. Her flower shop on main street of her small town means she sees tons of action. And by action, I mean lots of murders that she solves with the help of Marco Salvare (cop turned bar owner). The quirkier the occupation, the better for me. A florist that’s passed the bar exam is just top-tier in terms of quirk.
Garage Sale Mysteries - Lori Loughlin is Jennifer Shannon. She shops at garage sales for things to sell at her consignment shop. And inevitably she finds herself in the middle of a murder, with no choice but to solve it! There’s lots of these movies, but Hallmark doesn’t show them anymore because of Loughlin’s legal troubles. But I don’t care! What can I say? I crave cozy mysteries more than I crave accountability for rich white women.
Fixer Upper Mysteries - Jewel (yes, that Jewel) plays home restorer Shannon… Hammer. She’s obviously handy and capable, and once she pairs up with affable crime writer Macintyre Sullivan, she’s on the case. I wish there were more of these movies. Jewel is Jewel! She’s so pretty, I could watch her all day!
Okay, that’s enough words about the mystery movies of Hallmark for now. My attention span willing, I’ll continue my countdown next week.